Mencari Cahaya: tika aku telah melukakan dia.....

Maaf...

Di atas perbuatanku...

Memalukan mu...

Melukakan mu...

dan mungkin...

menghinamu...

Maaf...

aku tidak berniat begitu...

mungkin aku tidak sedar akan perbuatanku...

yang menconteng arang di muka kamu...

Lantas kamu merasa dihina dan terhina...

dan kamu menyifatkan perbuatanku sebagai menghancurkan dinding yang telah kamu bina...

Maaf...

aku bodoh...

telah melakukan sedemikian rupa...

lantas melonjak rasa hampa...

menghancurkan titian persahabatan yang sedang dibina...

dan aku tahu...kamu sememangnya tidak mahu lagi...

Maaf...

aku tidak pandai bermadah...

apatah lagi memujuk...

juga tidak mampu membait kata2 manis untuk kamu...

namun aku hanya mampu berkata...

setulus hatiku aku memohon kamu menggenggam jari-jemariku yang bersusun sepuluh..

memohon kemaafan...

mengharapkan kamu menerima...

Maaf...

hatiku sedang lemah...

sedang sakit...

kerana itu mudah terasa...

walaupun bukan salah kamu...

Maaf...

aku mengundur diri buat sementara...

mungkin agak terasa dengan kata-kata mu..

tapi apa hak yang aku ada...

selagi kamu belum nyatakan kamu memaafkan ku...

aku tidak akan tenang...

Dan aku tau...

hatimu juga tidak tenang...

Kerana perbuatan ku...

aku harap kau tahu...

betapa menyesalnya aku...

Maaf...
Di atas perbuatanku...
Memalukan mu...
Melukakan mu...
dan mungkin...
menghinamu...

Ya Allah...Help...

Ya Allah…

My heart is bleeding and I don’t know how to stop it…

I tried so hard to forget everything about him…

I even tried loving another person…

But my heart long for him….

Although he had cause me so much pain and suffer…

The thought of him never left my mind…

That feeling for him never fades away…

I always wanted to forget him…

But I never get to do so…

Ya Allah…

If he is the one that you created for me,

Please let him realize that…

But if he is not…

Please make this pain go away…

I can’t handle it any longer…

You sent me a few great guys that really love me…

So please make me love one of them instead…

I’m barely hanging on now…

My days are filled with pain and suffer…

The non-stop crying…

I seldom stare onto the ceiling and cry…

I know that I am not the best servant that you wish you had…

But please…I am begging you…

Ya Allah...

Help me in this journey…

Amin…

I learn to live half a life...now you want me one more time..

I know how it feels like to finally feel like you are moving on...

Even thought deep in your heart,you have that small,tiny hope that that person will come back and say that he regrets walking away....

I know the pain that you have to go trough when that person that you love so much-that person that you care about so much and thought that he cared too-turns out were lying about loving you  all along...

I know the suffering that you felt every night....

when you cried alone...

in the dark while your friends are sleeping...
because you don't want them to see you in such pain and agony..
Because you don't want them to worry..
Because you want them to know that if you are okay,then if they are facing the same thing next time,they'll be okay too...


I know the hardship that you went trough,just to put a smile on your face..
so that others would smile...
while your heart is bleeding so hard..


I know that feeling that you get,when you see others look so happy with their partners...
and wishing you are like that too....


Most importantly...
I know how it feels like when you are halfway of getting use to not having him around...
Then suddenly he came back...
And said...
He wants you back...
And how you wish he would say that before he broke your heart...
And how you wish he didn't say it anymore....
I know how it feels like..to loose..
Yes...
I know...

Antara shabat dan kekasih...between a friend and a lover...

This is a short story of how a friends heart is crushed by her own best friend...

Amin have been friends with a girl,nawi for a long time...they are practically siblings...

Nawi of course in fact care a lot about Amin...

Amin got a girlfriend named Sue...

They had their own series of fight and such that made Nawi worried sick bout this Amin dude...

One day...

Ingatkan don't wanna post...RASE BENGANG AND SAKIT ATY AND MENYAMPAH AND ETC!!!

RASE BENGANG AND SAKIT ATY AND MENYAMPAH AND ETC!!!

these past few days rase cm down and moody gile...UPSET GILER!!

I hate feeling this way but I already did...

I thought of studying but the fact of the study itself makes me mad coz it reminds me of the other person who is studying...

and to think that
I don't wanna disturb Mr. Valentine b'coz he was having exams...

Trying not to be clingy and everything since he said he don't have a heart...

Well Mr. If you don't have a heart, how come you have a crush??? haa???

That means you actually have a heart...

"I don't have a heart" la sangat kan....

I malas nak condemn ke, ape ke,nnti kate I clingy and mengongkong pulak..

And the "I need my space" pn he will ckp...

I had to write this for the sake of not getting mad...

I malas nak Ckp kat him dah...

Dude,

I NEED YOU...

I don't wanna cry

Come on dude! why?! I know that I shouldn't be mad...but I am..I am like FREAKING MAD!!!!!! not to forget UPSET! You just canceled our so-called meeting up! And when my friend called you(which I first thought she was bluffing) and tell you how upset I am, you didn't even
ask me why am I so upset...you just said that I shouldn't be upset. Come on man.

How could you

Dude...of course there's at least a reason for me to be that upset. Plus-when